Coming Home
by hannahb0nana
Summary: Revan and the Exile return from unknown space...and who knows how well THAT'S gonna go over.    LSF Revan/Carth and LSF Exile/Atton. yay  :
1. Landing

**i do not own, nor do i claim to own, star wars or knights of the old republic whatsoever. if i owned carth onasi...i would not be wasting time writing a fanfiction...trust me.**

**I**

**Revan**

The old, familiar ship landed with a dull thud, waking up the slim, dark-haired girl out of her deep sleep. It was probably the best sleep, and the longest, she'd had in seven years. Seven long, arduous years, the very thought of which made her skin crawl; but it seemed to be all she COULD think about, the only thing that would ever run through her mind if she left her thoughts unchecked. She tried to think of other things whenever she could-lately, of the fact that she was returning to known space, returning home; of her journeys before she'd left; of the only man she had ever loved, or could even imagine loving…these were the kinds of things that helped her stay focused during those long, dark years, and the things that kept her sane now. She remembered all the good times she'd had on her old ship, this very ship she was on now, the Ebon Hawk. Of her crew, who had become her friends even through shocking revelations of who she had been in the past. Of her first kiss with Carth Onasi. If she didn't have those memories, she was certain of the fact that she'd have turned back to the dark side a long time ago. She was certain that she'd have the same fate of the woman she'd once looked up to, Bastila Shan, and fall from a path she was so certain of.p

But she didn't. She hadn't, after all those years, fallen, or even started to. And it was all because of the people she had lived with on this ship for however many months it had been; she couldn't remember now. Those first five years in the reaches of unknown space had been horrible. She couldn't forgive herself for leaving behind those people she loved; those droids, especially HK-47 and all his oddities; Mission, with her fierce determination even though she had only been fourteen at the time, and her best friend Zaalbar, who, although got on her nerves sometimes, was always there for her and never faltered in his loyalty; Canderous, who became like a father to her by the time she left, full of his glorious war stories and admiration for her; Jolee and Juhani, who had been with her through one of the most difficult things she could ever remember doing, fighting Bastila, and who always had advice when she needed it and a shoulder to cry on when things just seemed too hard; and most of all, she regretted leaving Carth. She missed his voice, his laugh, the way they could make fun of each other and never feel offended, his eyes, those two strands of hair that always fell into his face, the feel of his lips on hers, the way that she felt like nothing could ever hurt her again when she was wrapped in his arms. She remembered the day she'd told him she had to leave. She tried not to recall it too often; it was awfully painful, like someone was ripping her heart out of her chest and feeding it to her. She had promised to never betray him, and there she had stood, telling him she was leaving, maybe forever. She didn't even try and make him understand, because she knew he never would. It was too much, too big for even her to comprehend. She didn't entirely know why she was doing it at the time. She finally had a family, a group of people who loved her for who she was and not for an image or what she had done in the past. Mission was practically like a daughter to her. She couldn't even tell the young twi'lek in person.p

If she'd had her way, she would have left just after the battle on the Star Forge. She would have done what she had to do and not let herself get any more attached to those people she'd traveled with than she already had. But how was she supposed to know that over time, more and more of her memories would come flooding back to her? At first they were simple things, a few snags from her childhood, some of her time at the Academy on Couruscant. But then she started to uncover the deeper, darker secrets of who she'd once been. What she'd planned to happen to Malachor V. Killing hundreds of Jedi, some who she'd once been friends with, by her own hand. That mask. Those Star Maps. The Trayus Academy.p

And the true Sith. The Emperor who she'd promised to help, but then had turned on to use the Star Forge to her own advantage. The pure evil that existed out there, past the Outer Rim, past where anyone had even been. That planet, that dark, lifeless planet that had the Force sucked out of it by the evil spirits that lived there. She knew, as soon as she remembered these things, that she had to do whatever she could to destroy it. Otherwise, all of her efforts up until then would be destroyed. She would have destroyed Malak, and Bastila, in vain. More Sith would just appear, constantly, forever, and those who she lived could be easily ripped from her before she could do anything about it. It was safer for her to leave them, anyway. Who knew how angry that true Sith emperor would be with her for betraying him. He wouldn't care that she was a completely different person now, remembered these things as if they were someone else's life. If he were to journey into her home galaxy, he would target her, and everyone who she was close with.p

So, she left, and she went to undo what she had started, attempting to destroy the race of Sith that she'd once been enamored by. It had been hard, so hard; she was completely and utterly alone on the lifeless world of the Sith. Working in silence, from the inside, with no direction, just trusting her instincts. Things had gotten easier once the Exile had shown up. She hardly recognized her old friend and most trusted general during the Mandolorian Wars. She was older, looked much wiser, and had a long scar down the left side of her face. The Exile, for that's the only name she'd give her old commander, told her of her adventures on her own old ship, the Ebon Hawk, and how there was a new war waging back home, and how Jedi were all but extinct. She told her of how she'd met with Carth, and how Carth had told the Exile to tell her he was waiting for her. All of this information at once had rocked her to the core. She almost felt like crying, but she didn't, because all of this also gave her more incentive to finish her job and go home. If the Exile could defeat three Dark Lords, one of which had been her old teacher, she could most certainly finish this in short order with her. The two of them had powers unmatched by any she'd ever known; the Exile, who had been so cut off from the force, was again so strong in it, and was so good at influencing people that even she was affected by it. And her…she had once been Dark Lord of the Sith. She'd won a war, tactfully and effectively. She'd traveled the Galaxy, finding dark objects that led her to confront who she had once been, and she hadn't turned. She was full of love, something she'd never been before. She was Revan, yes, but then again she wasn't. Back home, she knew she was regarded as a hero. So was the Exile now.p

Revan and the Exile had formed a bond then, in that same moment she was telling Revan of home. And Revan's feelings had been right; the two of them together were almost unstoppable. They finished what they'd come for within six months of the Exile's arrival. She didn't like to remember how. It was too gruesome, too horrifying, too painful. But they'd done it, they'd conquered the worst evil either of them had ever come in contact with, even worse than the pain of Malachor V.p

And now they were back home. Revan had laid in her bunk, thinking about all these things, for a good half an hour. The Exile was surely already off the ship. She'd always been much more eager than Revan, always quick to act. The whole flight home, which was more than two months long, she couldn't stop talking about one Atton Rand and how she couldn't wait to get home to him. The Exile had it lucky. She was only away from her love for a little less than two years. Revan hadn't been home in seven. She'd almost forgotten what it looked like. She remembered clearly the planets she'd visited prior to her departure. Manaan's oceans, Kashyyk's forests, Tatooine's desert. But home? Not so much. Probably because she'd only called it home for a short year before leaving. It had probably changed so much since then. Everything was probably different. She knew she wasn't going to be able to saunter off the ship and just jump right back into her old life. She knew for a fact that Canderous was now Mandalore, and she'd never have the kind of bond they'd once had. Jolee had been old when she'd left…who knew what kind of a state he'd be in now. Juhani may have died in the Jedi purge.p

Revan quietly, slowly got out of bed, stretching her limbs to their full extent. She knew she couldn't stay on this ship forever; now was as good a time as any to face her demons.

**please comment and such, i would really appreciate it and i probably won't keep writing if i know no one's reading. this is my first fanfic i've ever posted so i hope you all like it. thanks again! (:**


	2. Reunited

**i don't own star wars, or kotor, or the characters, although since it's an rp i kind of feel like i own revan's and the exile's personalities. but, i do own this story, so don't steal it.**

**II**

**The Exile**

Revan had been such a killjoy for the past two weeks that, by the time they landed on Telos, the Exile practically sprinted off the ship. The bad energy floating in the air was enough to make her depressive herself, and that wasn't something she wanted. She'd had enough of that since her battle with her one-time mentor, Kreia. If that hadn't been hard enough, than she and Revan's battles with the Sith were. By the time the young Exile had arrived, Revan looked but a shell of herself. The Exile was already saddened by that fact; Revan had been a good friend of hers, once, and she didn't like to see anyone so visibly worn down and drained. It probably didn't help that she had this weird ability to connect with people, to feel their emotions as they felt them. Sometimes it was helpful, but a lot of the time it gave the Exile some major problems. It was hard, trying to stay her positive, exuberant self when there were so many heart-wrenching vibes being sent her way. The Exile had gone out there with high hopes. She figured if she went to help Revan, they'd be done within a month, tops. That hadn't really gone over as well as she'd hoped, although she couldn't complain about the two years. Revan had had to suffer alone for five. When she thought about it, the Exile probably would have rather done it by herself. No one to influence her, so she could keep her usual easy smile on her face. It wasn't Revan's fault, she knew, but still, she could have at least put up a better effort.

By the time they'd finally boarded the Ebon Hawk-for good- it was as if Revan's attitude became worse and worse. She and the Exile had become close, and it was hard for the Exile to see her friend in such pain over the thought of seeing Carth. The Exile herself couldn't wait to get home and see those she'd left behind; her best friends Mirra and Bao-Dur, Mandalore(who Revan knew better as Canderous Ordo), even Mical, who the Exile had wanted to strangle half of the time during their search for the Jedi Masters. His strange reverence for the Jedi always kind of creeped the Exile out, but she couldn't deny the fact that he was intelligent and loyal and damn helpful a lot of the time. Plus he always gave her a good laugh when he argued with Atton. His face whenever he finally understood that whatever Atton was saying to him was sarcastic never got old.

She didn't know if everyone was going to be there, but she knew that Atton was here. She'd left him on Malachor V, but she'd asked him specifically to go back to Telos. Something about that planet had affected her deeply. She knew it needed help, and she couldn't think of anyone better than Atton to go help it. She trusted him with her life, and, yes, a whole planet's. There were so many things left unsaid between the two of them, and he was the person she wanted to see the most, wanted to tell him all those things she didn't before she left, because she knew if she did she'd never go. She didn't know how Revan did it, leaving Carth like that, after a year of bliss. She'd only had Atton for a few months, and then they were running around the Galaxy on a scavenger hunt from Hell and never really expressed their true feelings for each other, even though the Exile knew they were there because she could feel it. It was one of the times her freaky telepathy came in handy.

Stepping onto Telos' surface was, literally, a breath of fresh air. The planet was so different from the last time she'd been on it. It was vital, vibrant, noisy. Everything was so green, and there was a rainbow of flowers all around her. One word came into her mind on sight of it: _happy. _That's the only thing that could describe the place, no matter how simple it was. Not all the inhabitants of the planet were living on the surface yet. After it's original wipeout, most of the planet was too volatile for any living thing to thrive. But for some reason, over the years, the planet healed itself, with help from some very persistant Ithorians. The Exile remembered meeting them, and helping them get rid of Czerka corporation. She knew now that she'd done the right thing. The people that were living on the surface seemed to be the happiest she'd ever laid eyes on. What brought a huge smile to her face were the kids, so many of them, running around, playing games under the watchful eyes of loving parents. One of them recognized the lightsaber hung at her belt, running up to her and, instead of speaking to her, just staring at her in awe. The Exile laughed and ruffled the small girl's hair.

She made her way through the winding streets, following a few signs that led to Republic headquarters there. As she got closer, her excitement mounted, causing her heart to start beating so hard, she was surprised no one stopped her and asked her if she was having a heart attack. Atton's face kept running through her brain. She was definitely getting close to him. Neither he nor Admiral Carth Onasi knew that the two girls were even back in known space, let alone on Telos. The Jedi had decided that themselves. They could have easily sent T3 ahead of them, or even sent a Hologram. It had been the Exile's idea to just kind of…show up. She thought Atton would be impressed with how stealthy they were getting all the way to Telos undetected. Not that the two officers wouldn't know that a ship had landed by now…maybe even that it was the Ebon Hawk…but they needn't know it was the two of them, home, finally.

She finally entered the building, the grin on her face impossible to hide now. She told the sentry droid her name; she was immediately granted access to the inner parts of the command center. When she pushed open the door, Atton and Carth were standing together, their backs turned to her, bent over a desk, presumably studying some kind of map of the planet. She could sense that they were in good spirits, a good omen. Things were going well here. Waves of happiness and contentedness were washing over her, and she closed her eyes, breathing in the good feelings.

Apparently, the bond she had formed with Atton over their months of travel had lasted over all this time. She could feel him noticing her through the force. She could feel his disbelief. She opened her eyes just as he turned around, a look of shock first painted on his face, then melting into excitement and joy. The Exile, in that moment, had no inhibitions. She forgot Carth was there, forgot that she hadn't seen Atton in almost two years, forgot that Revan would certainly say she was acting like a teenager yet again (that was something Revan just loved saying to her). She just ran to him, as fast as her feet would take her, and leaped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. His entire thin frame folded around her, holding her there. His hands were on her back, in her hair, probably testing to make sure it was actually her and not just a figment of his imagination or a projection of the Force. And when they were both satisfied that it was really the other, their lips met in an anxious kiss, something so powerful that it literally shocked the Exile. Her lips memorized the shape of his. When he came up for air, she kissed every spot of skin she could reach.

They stood there like that for what seemed forever and not nearly long enough all at once. She finally slid off of him, leaving a few more heated kisses on his lips as her feet touched the ground once more. Only then did she remember that she had just made out with a respected Jedi in front of an Admiral of the Republic. Her cheeks flushed a little, but she definitely didn't regret it.

"When…how…what…?" Atton sputtered. She had to smile at that. He was never one to be lost for words.

"Just now. It's over, we succeeded. And I'm here. To stay."

"Where's Revan?" came Carth's voice. He sounded almost desperate.

"She's here," the Exile reassured him. "She's just…she's nervous, I think."

"Revan? Nervous?" Atton asked. "Are you sure you have the right one? I mean, you never know who she's gonna be next."

The Exile socked him lightly on the arm, rolling her eyes at him. "I think I of all people would know, idiot," she replied. "She'll be along shortly, I'm sure, Carth. She's…she's just fragile right now. She'll be here," she repeated as she saw the Admiral's mouth open in an attempt to retort.

Just as the words left her lips, she could feel Revan's presence outside the door. She didn't know if Carth could feel it as well, but she thought she and Atton had better leave them alone…and get on to bigger and better things. "Come on," she said to him, taking his hand and tugging him in the direction of the back entrance out of the room. "We have to talk," she added, as he looked at her indignantly.

**yayyyy ch 2. i wrote this because i think it's getting some pretty decent feedback, here and on deviantart, and that makes me really happy. thanks to those of you who have commented, please keep doing so, i like to see how my stuff's going over (:**


	3. Update

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in so long. School started and everything's been pretty damn hectic in my life. I do intend to continue writing this, as soon as things die down a little, and as long as the interest is still there J


	4. Please

Every time she reached to open the door, something seemed to stop her. It was as if there were a shield surrounding it, blocking her from even touching it, let alone opening it. She knew this was all in her head. She knew she shouldn't be acting this way; everyone in that room probably knew just how long she'd been standing there, like an idiot. But she knew something, something she'd never even admit to herself-she who was fearless was afraid.

If the roles were reversed, how would she have felt? Betrayed? She'd like to think not. She told herself she'd be understanding. But if she told herself the truth, for once, she knew she'd be hurt. Not angry, not even bitter, but definitely hurt. It would be hard for her to wrap her mind around. How could Carth NOT have the right to be angry with her? And it wasn't even the anger she feared, it was the pain in his eyes and the guilt boiling in her stomach.

Revan closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, and stretched her hand out to the door-and just as she was about to touch it, she felt nothing but open air in front of her, and suddenly she was clutching soft, worn, familiar fabric. Her nerves instantly set fire. She'd know this jacket anywhere. She thought maybe he would have upgraded to something a little more fancy by now, especially since it had been how many years, and he was an Admiral? Still, it was nice to know that some things would never change.

She didn't dare open her eyes. She knew she couldn't stand here like this forever. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she heard his voice. "Revan. Look at me."

If she had known what kind of reaction she'd experience to this, she would have never come. She suddenly felt like crying, and hugging him and never letting go, and apologizing profusely, FORCING him to understand her. She also felt like running far, far away, changing her name and her appearance, and forgetting all about him. Everything she'd ever wanted was standing right here in front of her; a normal life. Someone to love and to cherish forever. Someone to grow old with and have children with and experience everything with. But how did she know he still wanted those things with her?

There was only one way to find out. She took a deep breath, taking in his scent-and opened her eyes. Carth was standing so close to her that she could make out the brilliant gold flecks in his hazel eyes. She searched them then, looking for some sign of how he was going to react. He looked almost as scared as she did, as if he didn't believe it was actually her standing there.

Revan didn't know what to say; there was only one word running through her head. She couldn't stand just standing there like that, with so much tension between the two of them. In a voice so low it was barely audible, so vulnerable and soft that it was almost unrecognizable to herself, she whispered, "Please."


End file.
